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CRAZY ERNIE FOR
PRESIDENT IN 2012
"I promise
I WILL NOT
STEAL as much as those
before me."
"I promise
I WILL NOT
LIE as much as those before
me."
"I promise
I WILL NOT
CHEAT as much with other
women as those before me"
"And, I
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Help Police find
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missing since December 27, 2010
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February 9, 2011 update
Crazy Ernies
strange BUT
TRUE
story
In the next year or so you will see
lots of nuts like this one carrying signs
saying the World is coming to an end. Below is a very strange story
of something
that happened to Crazy Ernie.
CRAZY ERNIE
sez: We all know, as it has been published
many times, that according to writings in Aztec and Peruvian cultures
that the world as we know it will all end on December 21, 2012. It
has been written on cave walls 1000's of years ago that
12-21-2012
is it ... THE
END. Many people believe this to be a fact
and are preparing for it. Many people will live it up, give their
earthly possessions away and do lots of stupid things working up to
that date. What is your
thoughts???
CRAZY ERNIES true story:
About 15-16 years ago,
around 1995, I was reading a National Enquirer magazine and came
across an article that claimed it could project when YOU were going
to die. The article had lots of questions to answer to figure out
when your last day on earth would be. Questions like: 1) Do you
smoke? 2)What is the month, day and date of your birth? 3)How old was
your mother and dad when they died? 4)Do you drink alcohol and how
much? 5)How many auto accidents have you been in? 6)How tall are you?
7)How much do you weigh?. There were about 50 questions in all and at
the end you were given a formula to figure out your date of death.
Guess what ... MINE WAS
12-21-2012.
Yup, the exact same date as the Mayans, Aztecs and others predicted
the world will end. My first thought then was ... does it come out to
the same date for everyone???? Soooooo, I did it 3-4 more times using
some friends information. The dates ALL came out different. Hmmmm.
That really had me surprised and even today I think about the
weirdness of it.
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February 8, 2011
Life at home in
Pakistan slums
Crazy Ernie
sez: A Pakistani immigrant goes to a Doctor
and says "I feel terrible".
The Doctor says "You need to pee and poop in a
bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage. Put a
towel over your head and inhale the vapours for 3 days".
The man does this and goes back to the Doctor
and says "I feel wonderful!! What was wrong with me?"
Doctor sez: "You were homesick."
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February 4, 2011 UPDATE
Crazy Ernies Big
Titties lifetime dreams
CRAZY ERNIE sez: "When
I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have
a girlfriend with BIG
TITS. When
I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits,
but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl
with zest for life. In
college I dated a passionate girl, but she
was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama
queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I
needed a girl with stability. When
I was 25, I found a very stable girl but
she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited
about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a
girl with some excitement. When
I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I
couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another,
never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me
miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some
real ambition. When I
turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl
with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was
so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
AND NOW,
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with
BIG TITS.
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