Tonight is New Years
Eve
Don't let this be YOU or your friends.
Do NOT drink and drive
No further comments - just don't
do it, please!
December 30, 2010
This story ended up
being total bullshit and a promo stunt
by the Tawnee Stone porn producers.
You have my sincere
appology for it as I was duped
along with 1000's of other people that fell for
it.
Porn Star 19 year old Tawnee
Stone
Killed in automobile
accident.
There is lots of sadness in the adult world
today as we learned of the untimely death of porn star Tawnee Stone. This Texas
girl was very dedicated and talented in her work as a porn star. Even Crazy
Ernie had a crush on her. Such a beautiful girl taken from us in just the beginning
of her life. We wish condolences to all her family and friends and may Tawnee
RIP. She brought many adult fans, plus her family, great joy in her short life.
We will miss you Tawnee. ;-(
December 28, 2010
Think of what you
could do if you
had an eyeball implanted on the end of your
finger.
Here is Britney Spears
looking in her nose trying
to see if she has some loose boogers ready to
appear.
CRAZY ERNIE sez:
If you are working on your
car and you and drop a nut you can reach your finger down in there
and look for it. (grin)
CRAZY ERNIE
sez: If you are at a Parade
and you are behind people you can reach your hand in the air and
watch the whole parade nicely.
CRAZY ERNIE
sex: You are at a party and
someone accuses you of 'having a wild hair up your ass'. You can
discretely walk away and when no one is looking put your hand down
the back of your pants and peek around to see if they were right.
:=)|
Send us some of your eye on a finger uses now
December 27, 2010
Introduction of future
speechless Zombies
What the hell are we
creating?
CRAZY ERNIE FACTS
OR FICTION
CRAZY ERNIES
thoughts: I keep seeing it
at family gatherings and in the public. Kids, like above, are
obscessed with texting. Are these kids going to forget how to talk in
the future and be total Zombies tied to a mini-keyboard. At our
recent Christmas gathering there was NO LESS than 4 people
punching messages into their phones. And, the idiotic thing about it
was, some of them were texting to each other when they were sitting
only 6-8 foot apart. Is
this INSANITY???? Why can't
they just TALK to each other???? Are we creating a generation of
youth that will eventually be nothing but Zombies???? I was watching
my nephew, with a total blank stare on his face, punching at his
phone keyboard. I asked him a couple questions and there was
NO response - just a sort of blind fanatical stare. 3 others in
the room were punching at their phones also. What
type of generation are we creating?
I see kids coming home from school and over half of them are punching
into their phones messages for someone. Probably to the person
walking 10' in front of them. Is
our kids going to be total trance like idiots that forget how to
talk??? I can't say this
loud enough:
"Stop texting and start talking where I
can hear you ... Please!!!"
December 26, 2010
What's Up
Doc?
Only 364 shopping days left
before Christmas!
"Elmer Fudd gave me a
bag of Cawwots."
CRAZY ERNIE sez:
"If a bra is an upper
topper titty flopper stopper, and a jock strap is a lower decker
pecker checker, and a roll of toilet tissue is a super duper doody
pooper scooper, what do you a call a Japanese drummer boy whose
father has diarrhea? A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy
pappy."
CRAZY ERNIE
humor: "My daddy told me
when I was 10 that if I keep masturbating that I'll go blind.
Assuming he may be wrong I think I'm going to keep it up at least
until I need glasses."
CRAZY ERNIE true
story: On Christmas day in
1952 I sat in the Ken Theatre, in Frankenmuth, Michigan, with my
girlfriend Lucille and played 'stink finger' for 2 hours. She left to
go home with her parents. I had to walk 3.5 miles home in the dark.
What kept me happy was that I sucked on my finger all the way home.
Absolute truth.
I wished now that I'd
have went home with her.
Bugs Bunny sez: "She's
hawt. She can have my cawwot. (grin)"
Christmas Day, December 25, 2010
A Beautiful Zebra
grazing in grass
This beautiful animal
recently passed away
CRAZY ERNIES ZEBRA FRIEND enters Heaven:
This is Crazy Ernies favorite animal.
It came out every morning to graze so Ernie called her Dawn. Dawn recently passed
away. When Dawn got to the Pearly Gates she was met by St. Peter. St. Peter
said, "Dawn, do you have any questions?" Dawn replied, "Yes. I have always wondered
if I was WHITE with BLACK stripes or was I BLACK with WHITE stripes." Not knowing
the answer St. Peter left the Gates to confer with God. St. Peter came back
and told Dawn that she was WHITE with BLACK stripes. Dawn wanted to know how
he was sure. St. Peter said, "The good Lord said to me 'You are what you are',
so that means you are WHITE with BLACK stripes. Dawn looked puzzled so St. Peter
said, "If you were BLACK with WHITE stripes the good Lord would have said, 'You
is what you is'." NOW,
if Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton or Louis Farrahkan read this they will scream
RACIST JOKE.
Well, it's not racist, it's a history lesson into individual semantics on how
people talk and what they understand to be right. Simple
as that. NOT RACIST.
December 24, 2010
PLEASE HELP SAVE
PHIL
Ok McDonalds ...
Please get your Golden
Arches
out of your ASS for Christmas
Even news people want
to know.
Where's the fucking
McRib???
PLEASE HELP SAVE
PHIL
Contact McDonalds
CRAZY ERNIE sez: HEY
McDONALDS ... it's Christmas
time. Do what's right for Phil and others! You create a delicious McRib sandwich,
you price it right, people love it ... then you fucking take it OFF
your menu. Doesn't anyone at McDonalds have any damn brains. It
is a delicious sandwich and people love it ...
Please get your Golden Arches out of your ass and BRING
IT BACK ... IMMEDIATELY. My
friend Phil is starting to lose weight and looking sort of Anorexic since you
dropped the McRib off your menu. And now, there is rumors in the industry that
you are not going to bring it back in 2011. WHAT??????
I certainly, and so do many others,
hope Santa Claus pisses in your fireplace stockings this year. Your marketing
people need their brains examined. This is a campaign to HELP
SAVE PHIL ... hear us ... HELP
SAVE PHIL. Bring back the McRibs ...
AND HELP SAVE PHIL NOW. Even
CRAZY ERNIE would know what to do about this disaster!
December 23, 2010
Crazy Ernie wishes you
all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Joe Biden and
Walter
CRAZY ERNIE TRUE FABRICATED STORY: Last
week it was just unbelievably cold here in Michigan. One morning it was 1.4F
at 3am when I got up. My girl friend, Beumadine, started screaming and I ran
back inside and found her holding some round golf ball size ice cubes that she
found in our bed. We took them out to the kitchen and layed them in a pan. They
slowly started to melt and we could hear "Faaaaaarrrrrrtttttt" "Faarrt" "Faaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrttttttt"
"Fizzy faarrtt" coming from them. It was that cold in bed even. LOL
December 22, 2010
Here is Obama and
Biden celebrating ... or bitching about 2010
Sort of funny ... but,
in reality, really sad.
MORE CRAZY ERNIE
HUMOR
CRAZY ERNIE sez:
"Know what's the best
political joke I heard this year? Barack Obama!"
CRAZY ERNIE sez: "It
has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy."
Ain't that the disgusting real awful truth.
December 21, 2010
"C'mon Matey, what
about my main muscle?"
MORE CRAZY ERNIE
HUMOR
CRAZY ERNIE sez:
"Be the life at your
Christmas Party. Blow a little air in 2 condoms, tie them to your
nipples and try to get them swinging in different directions."
:=)
CRAZY ERNIE REPORTS:
"TAMPAX has announced that
they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with
tinsel..this is for the christmas period
only!!"
I asked Crazy Ernie what he
wants for Christmas. He said:
"A multi-millionaire 21 year old nymphomaniac that owns a liquor
store." --- He even said he'd share it with me. (=:| What a
guy.
CRAZY ERNIE wants to know: "Why
do people buy pencils with erasers on them. Isn't that a secret admission you're
going to do something stupid???"
December 20, 2010
Wheeeeeeee! Crazy
Ernie is 74 years old today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO
ME.
Are you a Bah Humbug
Christmas person??? You'll
love this clip.
Now, back to your
regular program already in progress.
LOL
CRAZY ERNIE SEZ:
What is mentally wrong with
this sick fucker Kim Jung??? Is he trying to start a war over
there??? Is his son just as ILL??? Just as nuts as Achmadinijad in my
opinion and I don't know if I spelled this other dickheads name
right. Who cares? We all know Iran's so called leader that most of
his own people hate. One of these days, and I'm against wars, they
are going to meet a challenge that they don't like ... and their
people will join in on the overthrow of their stupid idealogical
government principals. They need to get ready because I think it's
coming.
Does this insane
fucker think he's sexy???
NOT
CRAZY ERNIE IS HAPPY:
I own a farm in southern
Michigan on the Ohio border. Tax people from Ohio came to collect
property taxes and told me a recent survey shows my farm is really in
Ohio. I said to them, "That's the best fucking news I've heard all
week and is a good Christmas present." They said, "What makes you so
happy?" I told them, "Thank
heavens, FINALLY, NO MORE NASTY COLD BLUSTERY MICHIGAN WINTER WEATHER
TO LIVE IN." :=)
Duhhhhhhhh! LOL
CRAZY ERNIES DEFINOLOGY:
What is a
brainfart? - "It's a
vertigoian circum-roterary bumpity pitter patter twitch of the inner
center cerebellums grey matter storage units - simple as that."
LOL
If Kim Jung's picture turned you on
please call our toll free line here and
chat with a gay person
1-877 click
here
December 19, 2010
WTF? Am I missing
something???
Where the fuck is
grinning Pelosi and Reid???
Obama shaking the hand
of Repulican leader.
Is he looking forward to the 2012 election???
You
betcha!!
Crazy Ernie sez:
"Let's see if I got this right. In the past
when President Obama signed one of those Dumbocrats insane bills
guess who was there? Yup, you got it right. Nancy Pelosi, grinning
from ear to ear, and her dildo sidekick Harry Reid. Hmmmmm, where are
they here when Obama signed the new Tax Bill???? Is it possible that
these two political freaks are now on the outs with the President???
What creeps these two people are. Even I, from the insane asylum, can
see through these two assholes. Is it possible they don't like it
that Obama is looking towards 2012 and is slipping gently to the
center or even a little towards the right??? Hahahahahah you 2
dickheads."
CRAZY ERNIES INSANE
HUMOR
CRAZY ERNIES MORNING:
On the way to pick up his
meds today he had to turn a corner real fast this morning, and, at
the same exact time he got a boner. When the steering wheel spun back
he heard - thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump - and then he found out
that windshield washers only wash the OUTSIDE of the windshield.
Dammit.
FUNNY CRAZY ERNIE:
"Man I hate this damn cold
weather. I went outside this morning and took a piss. Had to break a
huge big yellow icicle off the end of my dick." Picture that in your
mind LOL.
Wanna chat with a naughty older woman???
1-800 click
here
December 18, 2010
Dear President
Obama
Please remove your hands from my pockets because I can "stimulate"
myself...thank you!!
SOME MORNING
HUMOR
CRAZY ERNIES BREAKING NEWS:
It has just been reported
that Oprah Winfrey has been arrested at Chicago's O'Hare Airport.
They said, "She had 10 pounds of crack between her legs."
LOL
INTERESTING HOLIDAY FACT: The
TSA will handle more packages than the Post Office this year.
December 17, 2010
Does Rap and Hip Hop
even come close to being music like this?
Listen to this before you
answer.
Not even close in my
opinion, and I'm a professional musician.
It's such a sad shame that Karen Carpenter died in the
mid 80's from Anorexia. She was such a talented singer and drummer and with
her brother Richard had a live Live TV show called "The Carpenters". I never
missed a show it was so good. They were so very talented and her voice was phenomenal
on pitch and smoothness. I hope I, someday, get to meet her in Heaven. And please
girls and guys ... if you feel you may be headed to Anorexia and losing weight
... GET HELP FAST. Karen
didn't get help and wanted to hide it as many Anorexics do. She hid in an upstairs
closet and died right there. Gone forever. We
miss you Karen ... we really do.
December 16, 2010
FIRST SOME HUMOR
(beware of
Snowcones)
NOW...
9 THINGS
NOT
TO BUY FOR CHRISTMAS
And, here are some
reasons why to wait.
1. Fitness
Equipment
There's plenty of time for would-be giftees
to work off the yuletide weight gain. Can't it wait 'til everyone else has already
broken their New Year's resolutions? Retailers such as Sears and Sports Authority
pump themselves up with January sales. Given that the average price of a stationary
bike is $296.32 and $586.19 for an elliptical trainer, according to the National
Sporting Goods Association, we say save your breath for savings that can be
as high as 70%.
2.
Televisions
Wait for the New Year's euphoria to fade
and you'll get your Super Bowl on the fancy telly at hundreds of dollars less
in January and early February. HDTV prices will likely take the biggest dive.
If you decide to go for it, here are some buying tips for getting that HDTV
at the best price - Shop at least 3 major stores and compare, and, don't be
afraid to ask, "What's your best price?".
3. Quit-Smoking
Aids
We're not blowing smoke -- after the new
year is the most cost-effective time to kick that nasty tobacco habit. WalletPop
suggests signing up with smoking cessation programs directly at their websites,
instead of searching for them at bargain sites. And the e-cigarette industry
is always offering deals online, hoping smokers will jump on the Katherine Heigl
bandwagon and puff on the steam-emitting, tobacco-free electronic cigarettes.
4. Snow
Blowers
Would you expect a bargain on air conditioners
in June? So why in the name of Jack Frost would you hope for low prices on a
snow blower in December? The savings snowball to 30% and 40% as winter turns
the corner in March. Let the intended recipient shovel the driveway for now
or have it shoveled for them -- just remind them to pay after the job is done.
5. Tax
Materials
Everything you need for a DIY accounting
to Uncle Sam, including software such as Quicken, is often reduced by double-digit
percentages in early February, according to WalletPop. On the brick-and-mortar
front, Staples annually stages a Dollar Days $1 to $3 pricing on office supplies
for many happy returns.
6.
Cars
You can save a December-best 8.2% off the
sticker price if you wait until New Year's Eve, according to Kiplinger. Dealers
want those new models in by morning. You'll toast your patience with a great
deal.
7. Sheets and
Towels
White sales are about as quaint as Norman
Rockwell paintings, but a few old school outfits like Bloomingdale's and Pottery
Barn still hold them after the holidays. Just imagine the thread count soaring
but not the price.
8.
Tools
Saving is dandy for someone handy, so wait
'til Father's Day to buy tools, Kiplinger suggests. Discounts reach 25% -- and
who wants to sand and drill at Christmas anyway?
9.
Cameras
Focus on the savings that develop if you
don't cave to your shutterbug's yearnings over the holidays. January and February's
big electronic trade shows announce the new models, generating savings of 30%
or more on the older models.
December 15, 2010
Please think of your
best animal friends now.
"Please take me inside. I'm freezing
out here."
Crazy Ernie would like to take this time to
beg you to think about your puppies, cats and any other pets you put
outside. This weather in the North here in Michigan is horrendously
cold. And, YES, animals don't like the cold either. Look at this dogs
eyes ... it really would love to be sitting beside you in your best
chair where it is warm. My puppie, Mickey, is sitting right by my
feet where I can pet him and his eyes tell me "thank you" for keeping
me inside. I feel so sad when I see homes with the dog tied up
outside for hours at a time. Very sad to see. Help your friend
today.
If dogs could only
talk.
CRAZY ERNIES
HUMOR
I just went out to get the mail at 4am
(about 60' from the house). I am now talking in a high pitched voice. I think
I froze my balls off. It's 4.4F and cold as hell.
December 14, 2010
Remember these
people?
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid,
Barney Frank
How they are looking
at Obama right now - LOL
CRAZY ERNIE SEX:
You get the idea. These
dumb assed Democrats, and all their other coherts, are fighting like
cats and dogs within their own party. They are pissed at Obama for
sucking up to the Republicans on the tax bill and are trying their
damndest to figure a way to sway their leader way back to the left
side of politics. And Obama, after seeing the November election
results in favor of Republicans and the Tea Party, is strongly
looking at the 2012 election. He knows he has to move to the center
and/or somewhat to the right in able to hold his Presidential
position.
These dumbocrats don't seem to
realize that WE THE PEOPLE
have a good memory. REMEMBER
when these ignorant people were setting up the Health Bill??? They
moved in a room, all by their Democratic selves, that was blocked by
a huge Oak door and security people. This 2000+ page bill was
supposed to be for ALL people. But, Republicans were not offered to
come in to hear the discussions. Neither were reporters from Fox News
or any other news organization. These assholes knew this bill was
LOADED
with earmarks and tons of stuff the American public was not
interested in. See the cartoon above. That is what these people think
of us. Why did these dumbocrats not let anyone else in on the setting
up of this bill????? Simple, they were all thinking about all the
Lobbyists money from drug companies and others that will be flowing
into their pockets. Just think of it ... why would someone spend 10's
of millions of dollars to get elected??? Can you even imagine that
NONE
of them have ever heard of Lobbyists with suitcases full of millions
of $$$$$.
Do you think ANY
of the above wasn't thinking of their wallets and purses??? What a
bunch of thieves we have in Washington. Think
about it.
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
I heard that Pepsi is going to come out
with a drink that has Viagra in it ... it's going to be called Mount & Do
-- :=))
December 13, 2010
My son wants some
friggin snow ... why don't you just move up
here?
Come on Steve, let's go swimming and
catch some seals to eat!
Night Aurora display
--------- Fishing for food --------- Freezin' our ass
off
Crazy Ernie and I
personally hate cold weather and snow. It's hard to drive in, you
have to shovel your driveways, your heat bills skyrocket in the
winter ... and, YOU CAN'T
FUCKING GOLF IN THIS CRAPPY WEATHER. I'd
rather have it 80 degrees out, sun shining, little breeze, smell of
flowers in the air, birds singing and building nests and golf balls
flying. Other than these Eskimos above I don't believe anyone really
loves cold weather. Crazy Ernie sez: Why
the fuck wasn't we born in Arizona or Southern California???
Sure would beat this
crap.
LITTLE LAUGHTER HERE:
Crazy was lying in bed with
his girlfriend Beumadine. After having great sex Beumadine spent the
next hour just rubbing his testicles, something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love
doing that?" Because, she replied, "I really miss mine"
Better be careful this
year... Santa is watching you!
You can chat naughty here - 1-888 click
here
Just don't let Santa catch
you
Things that puzzle Crazy
Ernie: "Why do all racecars
go from left to right? Who on earth made this stupid decision? I'd
love to see a NASCAR race where all the cars go from right to
left."
Crazy Ernie sez:
"My pet dog Mickey is a
"10". I took him outside this morning for a walk. At the first tree
he took a poop. At the second tree he took another poop. At the third
tree he took another poop. Now, the way I look at it is: Tree and a
turd + tree and a turd + tree and a turd = "10". I'm not a
mathematical genius but it makes sense to me."
LOL
Crazy Ernie humor: "I
had the pleasure of interviewing Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and Jesse Jackson
last week. I asked them if they go to NASCAR races. In unison, they screamed:
"We would never go to NASCAR, we ARE NOT RACISTS."
LOL
December 11, 2010
From "pretty" to
"pretty fugly"
Guess which one is her
mug shot? You get 2 guesses. LOL
HOLLYWOOD,
USA: I get almost violently
ill when I see mug shot pictures of Hollywood people when they are
strung out on drugs, botox, facelifts and what ever. Makes no
difference which star it is, Lindsey Lohan or Glen Campbell, they all
look disgustingly sicko. Then they plead for a low bond and they beg
judges to release them with little or no sentence. If they do get
jail time like 90 days in jail they spend about 5-7 days in jail and
then are released. How many times have we seen this.
What if it was you or I?
We would end up doing the
FULL 90 days - period. Why does society let the courts and judges get
away with this unfair system. Make them do the time just like the
rest of us would. Almost everyday we see some star in the slammer
only to be getting a small slap on the wrist, time after time. How
many times has Lindsey (stupid) Lohan commited driving offenses,
drunk driving, accidents, etc, etc.??? I'd probably be in prison for
2-3 years by now if I commited her offenses. Come on courts ... get
fucking real. They are NO BETTER than the average John or Jane
Doe that does the same thing. Force them into mental health ... not a
5 star hotel with their own private phsyc doctor that testifies
he/she has straightened their client out in less than a week. What do
you think of the SYSTEM we have now???
Think about it.
LONDON, UK:
The violence stems from the
fact that College tuitions are scheduled to triple next year. I
totally agree with the protesters about having to deal with an
increase like that. College is not cheap to begin with, but a 3x
increase is not right. But,
I strongly believe that violence IS NOT the way to settle the
problem. You are costing your government millions of dollars by doing
this wrong action against your government. Don't you think they will
use this as a further belief that they need the money. What you are
doing is totally WRONG. Do your protesting at the ballot box and
calmly talking with your government officials. Look at the wars all
over the world. NOTHING
is settled by violence. It drags it on and on with NO real
winners in the end. Who will pay for all the damage you are doing to
your beautiful cities??? YOU
WILL ... PERIOD. Do you,
for a second, think your attacks on Prince Charles car did you any
good??? ABSOLUTELY
NOT. In fact, if anything,
it hurt your cause. Get your heads on straight, stop the violence,
and do it the right way. Look at the smiles on some of these blokes
faces ... like this violence is totally funny. Get them aside and
tell them they are real stupid in getting their jollys off seeing a
friend confront a police officer. It's not a pretty
site. Think about
it.
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
Crazy Ernie got up late
this morning and was in a hurry shaving with his straight razor. The
straight razor slipped out of his hand and chopped his wiener off.
His wiener rolled around on the floor and then looked up at him and
said, "Since I was
12 years old we have had many fistfights ... but, I never thought
you'd draw a knife!"
Barbara Walters IS a
Pinhead - Bill O'Reilly,
Fox News Factor
I have to totally agree. A
real dumbo of a question. It isn't the point of whether Oprah is, or
has been, in a lesbian relationship with anyone. The point is: (1)
Who cares?, (2) It's none of my business. (3) Does being a lesbian
make you bad??? (4) I would love Oprah if she said: "Damn right, I
love hugging and kissing women and having all out dirty sex with
them. Period. Her sexuality, and anyone elses, is no ones business
but their own. Crazy Ernie is not, nor has ever been gay. But, if I
have been in the past I would willingly WAVE THE FLAG and tell
everyone that wants to know. I would in no way flaunt it and I would
in no way hide it. Being a friendly person is what counts ... NOT
what they like to do in bed and with whom. Barbara Walters, in my
opinion is definately Bill O'Reilly's PINHEAD
OF THE YEAR on this issue.
Hats off for Oprah for pointing that out to PINHEAD
BARBARA WALTERS.
Think about it.
You own a gas guzling
Cadilac, Lincoln, Blazer, Jeep and you are bitching at the Arabs for
high gas prices. They are laughing all the way to the bank as they
ride off into the sunset on their high tech mode of transportation.
Think about it. Half dozen ears of corn and they can carry your
suitcases full of American Dollars to the bank that you just spent at
the local gas station.
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
When we are born God picks our eye color,
our wiener size, out boob size, our hair color - but, he makes us pick our own
nose. It was 9.4F temperature this morning and Crazy Ernie went outside to pick
his nose. When he came in he said, "First
time I ever saw a booger cube."
December 9, 2010
HOW TO HELP BALANCE
THE NATIONAL DEBT
1. Legalize Marijuana and TAX
it. Remember Prohibition? Alcohol was illegal. So, it went
underground and was readily available to any person that wanted it.
Finally the idiots in Washington decided, under pressure, to legalize
and TAX it. Tons of money started to come in and to this day still
does. Who, but the underground, was making tons of money on alcohol
during prohibition. How about smoking? About 25-30% of the public
smokes and cigarettes are heavily TAXED and tons of money is coming
in on that. Marijuana would be no different. Legalize it and TAX it.
Just like alcohol, if you are caught drunk driving you pay fines. If
you are caught driving under the influence of Marijuana - you get
some heavy fines. There is money to be made here if the politicians
would just get their brains working right. WHY let underground crooks
make money by selling it on street corners. Think of the murders that
would not happen because of crooks trying to dominate certain areas.
Maybe those crooks will go get a regular job instead of terrorizing
neighborhoods with gang bang shootings, etc. Think about
it.
2. Legalize prostitution. It's
the worlds oldest profession isn't it? Been here since caveman days.
Make women prostitutes (and male prostitutes) get licensed and have
monthly medical checkups for diseases. And, make them pay TAXES on
their income. Why do you want illegal Pimps making tons of money on
this, now illegal, unreported income. And, how about the Pimps that
mistreat their hookers, beat them and cheat them out of money. Let's
put prostitution into a legal profession and TAX it like any other
profession. Think about it.
3. Put at least a 300% TAX on
Rap and Hip Hop recordings. Notice I did not say MUSIC as it
absolutely does not represent music in any way. The lyrics are
sickening our youth in a heavy way. Kill cops, misuse ho's, do drugs
and on and on. Absolute total insanity, and these so-called artists
are making millions of dollars putting out this trash to brainwash
our kids. TAX it heavily and maybe it will go away and save our kids
... if not, bring this TAX money in to help pay our national debt.
Think about it.
4. Put a $500 fine on people
that turn their auto and/or home boom boxes on where you can hear the
drums and bass a city block away. I personally don't want to be
forced to hear that trash pounding my ears. $1000 on second offense.
Give us ordinary citizens ears a rest from this junk pounding crap
... we DON'T want to share this garbage with you. Think about
it.
5. Have every county and
parish build a gun storage unit and make ALL
citizens (Police exempt) pay a fee to store your weapons 24/7/365.
Your weapons will be under supervised lock and key at all times. If
you want to go hunting you go check your gun out for the hunting
period and return it within 24 hours after your hunting is over.
Otherwise, ABSOLUTELY NO GUNS in private hands unless legally owned
and checked in and out of the supervised unit. IF you are caught with
a gun not in the legal system you go to jail - no bond - minimum 20
years automatic jail time. LIFE for the second offense.
PERIOD. Just think of the
murders and killings and robberies this would
eliminate. Look at your
daily news and just see how many gun crimes are being committed even
as I type this. NO GUNS IN
CITIZENS HANDS UNLESS LEGALLY OWNED AND LEGALLY CHECKED OUT OF THE
SUPERVISED UNIT.
PERIOD. The thieves and
crooks would be speechless on this kind of law. Violent crime would
definately go down. And, there would be money coming in from the
storage unit where the guns are legally held for you.
Think about it.
Wednesday,
December
15th News
Update
ALL MAJOR GUN RELATED
INSTANCES IN ONE
DAY
How many happened in
towns across the country not reported here???
Think about it.
Innocent Mother
Killed, 5 Hurt in Gun Battle at California Mall.
Police: Man Fires at
Florida School Board; Kills Self with gun.
NY Police: 'We Could
Have a Serial Killer' - 4 bodies found so far.
Casino Armed Bandit
Grabs $1.5 Million at Bellagio in Vegas .
Illinois Mayor Tim Davlin Found Dead in
His Home - shot himself.
December 8, 2010
Want to see a
faaaaaarrrrrrr left MSNBC interview with RACIST Al Sharpton.
We can all PUKE over this dingbat racist.
Crazy Ernies punchline
would be: "I told them we do not go to
NASCAR races because WE ARE
NOT RACISTS."
When are these dingbats at MSNBC going
to get the picture that their ratings are going to keep falling into HELL when
they feature such shit at this on the airwaves. In my opinion MSNBC should be
banned from broadcasting. See below about Sicko Rachael Maddow .. another left
wing NUT CASE.
December 7, 2010
Say a prayer on this
day for all our WWII soldiers that lost their lives during the Pearl
Harbor attact. 1000's of brave men and women, protecting us, went to
heaven that day during this terrible bombing in Pearl Harbor. There
is no way to bring them back but we sure can all say a nice prayer
for them today.
Now for some
humor: During the 40's and
50's we had a ventriloquist named Edgar Bergen with his dummies
Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd to entertain us. Today we have
Jeff Dunham with multiple hillarious dummies to entertain us. One of
my favorites is Achmed the Terrorist. Think you'll like this one: It
is fucking funny!
New York,
NY: Was bored and scanning
channels the other night and happened to stop on MSNBC at the
beginning of the Rachael Maddow newscast. The first 15 minutes of her
show was filled with nothing but horrendous Republican and HATE Fox
News puke spewing from her mouth. I know some people lean to the left
in politics but her show was so far left it was almost unbelievable.
How a human, if she's that, can have such hatred is beyond my belief.
First, I think she is a dyke trying to hide as a woman. I have
nothing against Lesbians, but please, if you are gay don't try to
hide it in any way. You are what you are. You are not fooling anyone
except yourself. I have many gay and lesbian friends and absolutely
think the world of them. One Tennessee woman that I correspond with
on the internet is a lesbian ... and, she and her lifetime partner
Elise are absolutely beautiful people that I would do anything for.
Rachael, besides her hiding her gender preferences, is one of the
most brain dead newscasters I have ever witnessed. And, I have been
involved with broadcasting for over 40 years. I've personally met
Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather and many more. Dan was an alcoholic, but
did not try to hide it from anyone. He was an excellent man behind
the mike when doing the CBS Evening News on TV. He did his newscast
from our local studio one night and was really bombed ... but, other
than his normal whistleing when pronouncing an 's' he did the
newscast extremely professional. And, he did not slam ABC or NBC, the
other 2 major newscasts on at the same time period. Rachael is a
disgrace, and outright fraud, trying to act like a fair and balanced
newscaster. It is no wonder why Fox News is so far ahead in the
ratings of being fair in news reporting. You, Rachael Maddow, are a
total loser in spending almost HALF of your program blasting
Republicans and Fox News. Hear me ... A TOTAL LOSER. Furthermore, I
am an independent, and give BOTH sides a fair objective ear. Please,
Rachael, get a life.
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
Crazy Ernie built a kite
out of balsa wood and newspapers but he didn't put a tail on the
kite. He was outside trying to fly it and it kept crashing into the
trees and ground. His girlfriend Beumadine shouted out the window,
"What you need is a
little piece of tail."
Crazy Ernie said, "That's
what I asked for this morning and you told me to go fly a
kite."
RIP Beetles John
Lennon - Its been 30 years - December 8,
1980
We want to
'Hold Your
Hand' once
again
New York, NY:
On the evening of Monday,
December 8, 1980, 40-year-old John Lennon was shot four times in the
back (the fifth shot missed) in the entrance hallway of the Dakota,
with hollow-point bullets from a Charter Arms .38 revolver, by Mark
David Chapman. Lennon had autographed a copy of Double Fantasy for
Chapman earlier that same night.
Two shots struck Lennon in the
left side of his back and two more in his left shoulder. All four
wounds caused serious internal damage, and at least one of them
pierced Lennon's aorta. Lennon staggered up the four steps to the
security/reception area and said "I'm shot" and collapsed. Concierge
John Hastings at first thought it was a joke, but then summoned the
police by hitting the silent alarm button.
Lennon was pronounced dead on
arrival in the Emergency Room at the Roosevelt Hospital at 11:15 p.m.
The cause of death was reported as hypovolemic shock, after losing
more than 80% of blood volume. On the following day, December 9,
1980, Lennon's wife Yoko Ono issued a statement: "There is no funeral
for John. John loved and prayed for the human race. Please do the
same for him. Love, Yoko and Sean." Instead of a funeral, ten minutes
of silence was observed worldwide the following Sunday, December 14,
at 2 p.m. ET.
Chapman later pleaded guilty
to second-degree murder and was sentenced to 20 years to life. He is
still in prison, 27 years since his arrest, having been denied parole
five times. (He became known to the surviving Beatles and their
friends as "He whose name shall not be mentioned.")
Two days after his death, Lennon's body
was cremated at Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York. The ashes have been
said to be sprinkled around Strawberry Fields, as well as in personal possession
by Yoko Ono. Yoko Ono kept his bloodstained glasses after he died.
December 4,
2010
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKES
CRAZY ERNIES HISTORICAL
FACTS: When Barney
Frank was born his parents visited him in the nursery and were amazed
that he was the only baby in the nursery that wasn't crying. Nurse
said, "Oh, he'll start crying like the rest the minute we pull the
pacifier out of his butt." LOL
CRAZY ERNIES
NEWS FLASH:
Democrats announced today that they are changing their mascot from a donkey
to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party’s political stance.
A condom "stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation,
protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing
others."
December 3,
2010
10 year old Zahra
Baker
Very pretty with
freckles and a dynamite smile.
According to reports on
many news stations this beautiful child was raped by 2 men and then
someone hit her in the head and killed her. Her parents, and maybe
others, dismembered pretty Zahra and put her body parts in plastic
bags and threw her away like she was trash. In life Zahra suffered
Cancer and lost her left leg and had a prosthetic leg in place. She
also suffered from hearing problems. So many hardships in her early
life and then some SCUMBAGS
along with her parents did something like this to this beautiful
child. What the hell is wrong with people today??? It takes extremely
sick sick sick people to do something like this to an innocent 10
year old. Her smile as seen in many news pictures is so captivating.
I would personally give all the money I have to just have her back,
hold and hug her, and give her the love that these dogs of so called
humans denied her. What a precious child we lost
here.
NOTE: If
you EVER notice a child being treated badly (bruise marks, etc) please please
contact the Police. DO NOT WAIT. Maybe the child gives you hints of some bad
things happening to them. CALL
THE POLICE - IMMEDIATELY. You
may save another Zahra from this type of hideous murder. PLEASE
HELP. These SCUMBAGS need to
spend eternity in Hell. Dig a 15' hole, fill it with fire ants, and put them
all in it to squirm and yell for help. Then, just sit there and laugh at them
reminding them of Zahra's pain and suffering. Zahra is certainly in Heaven right
now ... and, probably still loves her mommy and daddy ... what a thought.
December 2,
2010
HUMOR:
Last year I went to
Washington DC on vacation. Wanting to meet some politicians around
noon I went to the local bar (near the house bldg) for a drink. Place
was packed and only 2 seats available. Both of the seats were on both
sides of a woman sitting at the bar. So, I took one of them and very
soon realized I was sitting next to Nancy Pelosi. As we were sitting
there all of a sudden I smelled what was a horrendous fart. Not
knowing if it came from the gentleman to my left or from Nancy
Pelosi. I quickly changed seats to the other side of Nancy. The smell
was just as bad if not worse there. I said to Nancy, "Did you shit
your pants?" She said, "As a matter of fact, Yes I did." I asked her
if she was going to go to the bathroom and wipe. She said, "Yes, as
soon as I'm done." :=) Another brilliant decision by this
Dumbocrat.
Here is Obama and
Nancy Pelosi's Love Child
Another one of our precious
Dumbocrats helping
people of the U. S. out with great ideas. LOL
You got it. That's our precious Barney
Frank
dressed up in drag helping us out.
Ask for Barney here - 1-877
click here
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
Crazy Ernie is really sad
today cause his best friend recently died. Seems his friend had some
strange disease that caused his testicles to start swelling up. When
he died he weighed 400 pounds and his testicles weighed 100 pounds
each. Crazy Ernie said, "I
will really miss him ... even though he was half
nuts."
And now we have a young
18-19 year old jihadist in Oregon that was going to blow up a truck
full of explosives at a town Christmas Tree lighting celebration.
Where the hell do these nut cases come from??? He wanted to MURDER
100's of innocent people and their children in the name of what???
Did the Koran tell him to do it??? I'm not a religious person for the
main reason that most ALL wars in history were over religion.
Remember the Crusades??? All the Arab wars have been caused by
friction between rival nuts mis-interpreting their own religion.
Extremeists galore. When I was raised I was told everyone not a
Lutheran was going straight to hell. So, I was supposed to hate
Catholics, Methodists, et al. I lost my high school sweetheart
because I was not going to make her quit her Methodist Church and
join our Lutheran Church so I could marry her. And, that's on a local
level. Now, take millions of Muslims and split them into dozens of
extreme fanatic groups and they act like the Hezbollah, ElQuida,
Irans Presinut, and others trying their jihad shit on all who are not
Muslims. Then you have other dingbats like Kim Jung Il (should be
spelled ill) of N. Korea. What a Dilbert looking wacko we have there.
And, it looks like his son is going to be a mini-wacko to follow his
dads nutty ideas. Why can't people get along and not plan on hurting
others. I personally don't care if you are black, white, indian,
arab, Catholic, Baptist or whatever. If you treat me nice I'll treat
you nice. Simple as that. Where oh where are the sane people in the
beautiful world of ours??????? I'm looking. If you are a nutcase
and/or radical extremist please don't call me. I say, "Let's nail his
nuts to a stump and then push him over backwards." :-)
UPDATE:
Now some idiots are
blaming the FBI for brainwashing the kid to do it. Little absurd if
you ask me.
Some
Humor: I dreamed I
died and went to heaven. St. Peter looked over my record on Earth and
led me to a room. In the room was a 12' silk bed with beautiful
pillows. St. Peter said, "This is where you will spend eternity."
Only bad thing about it was that in the middle of the bed lay Nancy
Pelosi naked. I told St. Peter, "This is the worst nightmare I could
ever imagine, spending eternity with naked Nancy Pelosi". St. Peter
said that this was the penance I had to pay for the sins I commited
on earth. I then peeked out in the hallway and saw my best friend
John coming in. St. Peter led him to a room accross the hallway. Same
kind of bed, same eternity rules applied. Laying in the middle of his
bed was Lindsey Lohan totally naked. I told St. Peter, "Now, I know I
commited some sins down on Earth and have to pay penance with dumpy
Nancy Pelosi ... but, my friend John was no angel down on Earth. He
commited many sins also." St. Peter said, "You must understand ...
Lindsey Lohan has to pay penance too." :-)
Obama makes another of his smart
deals.
Pretty Fart Smellow there for our Presidunce.
November 30, 2010
Julian Assange -
TRAITOR
HELP US CATCH HIM
NOW
UPDATE
Happy Day ... Assange
arrested in the UK on December 7, 2010 ... sit in jail
asshole.
Bill O'Reilly and I both agree ...
he's a sleazebag.
How much do you want to bet
this WikeLeaks braindead person is funded in some indirect way by
George Soros. This is the type of shit that makes George grin from
ear to ear. Ruin America, put soldiers and CIA people at risk just
for your own personal satisfaction. I hope your next rectal prostate
exam is done with a baseball bat you screwy weirdo. Did these
revelations help America??? Or, is your intent to destroy America.
Our society helped you make billions of dollars here in America and
you give this back to us. You should be stripped of ALL your money
and kicked out in the streets to live under a bridge somewhere. Think
the homeless would give you a listening pad??? NEVER. Since your
brain is so warped call 1-800-287-3926 and tell them what your fetish
is. You, Pelosi, Reid, Barney and others will all end up in HELL and
while you are suffering in the flaming fires you can convice each
other on how you did it right. Yeah. And don't worry, Bill O'Reilly
and Glenn Beck won't be there with you. They will be smiling in
heaven. I am 73 and won't live forever - but, when I die it will be a
glorious world without you and your slimeball friends and
organizations. Another Yeah. UPDATE:
On Dec. 1st a
worldwide arrest warrant was issued for this absolute
rectum.
CRAZY ERNIE
JOKE
Some Humor:
Crazy Ernie was going to adopt a 6 week old Vietnamese girl. But, he finally
decided against it. I asked him why he decided not to. He said, "Well
the way I see it, when she grows up and starts talking, I won't be able to understand
her." :=)
November 29,
2010
So now, here is a loser,
John Skelton, in Morenci, Michigan that says he tried to hang himself
- and, his 3 beautiful sons (Andrew, Alexander and Tanner) are
missing. Lied and said he gave them to a lady friend he met on the
internet. Bullshit. Get off your ass and tell the authorities where
these gorgeous boys are. My guess is that you killed them and then
wanted a way out instead of a lifetime in Prison. But, it didn't work
out did it you fucking loser. And now, unless found alive, your sons
will never have a chance on growing up and being a contribution to
society. You, John Skelton, are a fucking loser to the nth degree
taking it out on helpless children. The truth will come out and you
will rot in hell with all the other losers that can't face lifes
problems. We all have problems --- but, you make children pay the
price for your shortcomings. Get real, loser. You are wasting our
precious oxygen by breathing. UPDATE: The idiot now says he abandoned
the 3 children. Don't know if he told the cops where.
UPDATE:
FBI arrested him in
Ohio for kidnapping and he is going to be extradited back to
Michigan. I sure feel sorry for those children.
Please say a prayer for them right
now!
Andrew, Alexander and Tanner
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